More discovery!
Hi, it was very nice to talk and “meet”
some of you today. For all who are joining tomorrow’s Skype, I’m Sam(antha) and
I’m in Module Three. I deferred in January, so I have already done some work
for this Module.
I would like to write about the monthly Skypes
we engage in. I did write about this topic in September, but I feel that I have
a different view about them today and have discovered another aspect of myself.
The Skypes have been until now, something I
have not looked forward to each month. I could never really pinpoint why though.
I’ve never been one to stand up and talk in front of people, I have never been
one to express my views to people that I don’t know, and I have shied away from
confrontation in my everyday life. These factors were my starting points for
the Skypes, not a particularly good and positive attitude!
I have felt uncomfortable and exposed, and
the silences that sometimes occur feel awkward. I also had had the view that I
wasn’t smart enough, and what have I got to offer of any use to anybody?
Having a little pause from my studies has
been helpful. Taking a little step back has provided me with the opportunity to
review certain elements of the programme, the Skypes being one of them. I
wondered what I was getting out of the Skypes and why I felt panicky and never
at ease. The Skypes should help me facilitate my learning not be a hindrance.
What I have discovered about myself through
this reflection is that I have problems articulating myself. This is even to
the point that I put Norwegian (I live in Norway) words into a conversation
without realising it, or I can’t remember the word in English, or that I can’t
remember how to pronounce a word. This, was not something I took seriously before
but as a presentation is part of Module Three, I need to face this issue. The
monthly Skypes surely are a tool that can help me with this? They are a
platform for me to express myself and receive feedback in the form of a
conversation, what is there to fear? Nothing, they provide information, help, and
needed support.
I look forward to the next Skype and putting
my words into practice! I hope everybody has a good start.
Sam
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree and I find it interesting you say you forget which language etc. I have this a bit, as well as muddling places from different countries although not so much anymore. I moved to the UK from Australia and found this the case particularly with me using Australian terminology interspersed with English. Lots of different words for things, so would think another language even more difficult.
I too find the Skype sessions tricky, as you say I'm also not a confrontational person and worried about sounding like an idiot, maybe we all feel that way????? I have no problem teaching children and adults face to face and I wonder whether it is something to do with not getting that personal feel?
I also think perhaps it is because we are all working in a highly competitive field and unaware what everyone else has done fully, even though we met on our first Skype. But primarily I think conversations are much easier face to face, so the very nature of the Skype sessions are hard.
Rebecca
Hi Rebecca, yes it's about being "face to face" too. Maïté wrote about it on Barbara's blog last term.I'm going to explore the benefits of this though and get out of the Skypes what I need to keep going forward!
DeleteSam and Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteI recognize your challenge with remembering to use correct words or languages. I have a bad habit of speaking in the context of people I know from various countries when I am with them.
Several have told me to speak normally so they can better understand "normal" conversational English.
This helps me remember the transition from teacher to being a student is similar to acknowledging and speaking other languages. I must try to remember when I am the student. In actuality, I am a student even when teaching as I learn to change presentation of ideas and steps to students who may not easily learn by hearing " this is the way you must do it."
Never thought of it that way before!
DeleteHi Sam. Welcome back and good luck for Module 3.
ReplyDeleteWe have just finished the 2pm skype today and it materialised that much fear has been felt by all of us and how good we all are at covering it up and pretending we are in control. The issue of control is challenged in the Skype sessions as we cannot connect with all our senses and in the absence of finding the right word we are unable to articulate fully our intention. Our voices feel magnified and without being able to read the other person or knowing them at all, it is daunting. This uncertainty in how we are being perceived magnifies our feeling of self-doubt and also opens up the possibility of being misunderstood. Now I feel to support each other is paramount and providing a more open dialogue within the learning community essential in gaining confidence to continue and provide a reassuring listening ear when feeling vulnerable. Don't hesitate to skype me if you need a chat and I hope I can do the same. All the best.
Hi, thanks for your reply! I've just read your blog and I'm finding it interesting why this theme has come up now and in both Skypes as I can't remember this topic being discussed in detail before. I so agree with you the importance of support and being able to have someone to "bounce" things off. We (the Module Three's last term) had a Facebook group together which felt like an extra "support system" (it also enabled us to ask questions which we needed answers to!). Please feel free to contact me anytime! Take care!
ReplyDeleteHi Sam, I wish you a lot of strength, joy and self-believe for module 3! Looking forward reading from you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Maïté! Hopefully we'll see each other in July x
DeleteI've felt similarly about the skypes. I think some of it is simply the unavoidable fact that they're skypes between more or less strangers (hopefully not-so-strangers as the module progresses!) rather than face-to-face conversations with people we know. I can definitely tell the difference between conversations that pop up organically on the skype sessions and ones that don't (ack, those silent moments). Being on skype, we miss all the normal facial expressions and body language and other cues that normally help us communicate, and we also lack the ability to split off into side conversations that would normally happen in a similar in-person setting.
ReplyDeleteNot really sure how much of that is "fixable." It just comes with the format, I think, but maybe if we're aware of it, it'll be easier to push past?
Sorry for the delay in replying! Yes, we all seem to feel the same. Hopefully we can try and change that as we are not alone in our thinking and feelings!
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