Tuesday 1 May 2018

Who am I?


Talking to a friend of mine recently who was a ballet teacher for many years, we started talking about identities. At nearly the age of 50, she became a Primary school teacher, giving up dance that she had loved so much. I asked her “how was that transition”, which she replied, “no problem, I never thought about it!”. Her “say it as it is” answer made me think of my identities both as a professional and my personal identity.

I have always tried to separate my professional life from my personal life, but I have to say that I think the two have been somewhat merged together in recent years. I wonder why this is?  I’ve concluded that like life, my professional practice has gone through various phases. How I defined my job and what was expected of me 25 years ago has not been the same in recent years. More experience, getting older, and becoming a mother (later in life) has changed me. Developments in social media have also influenced the gap. Students who use Facebook as a communication tool, (even though they know that I will not “friend” them while they are my students) seems to be normal in these times. My work and private life don’t have the separation they once had.

I seemed to have clearer boundaries some years ago of who I was at work and who I was outside of work. I’m thinking that unconsciously how I have defined my job has changed. Slowly my view that I was there “only to teach dance” has altered, today, there is more personal investment in my work.

Topics that once were never talked about openly, various problems, divorced parents, puberty and bullying have influenced how I look at and treat my pupils. It appears I have taken on a different role today. That leads me to a new thought, what is a professional dance teacher today? Can I show my feelings, hug a child without crossing the line of being unprofessional?

I’ve noticed too, how much more open I am about my thought processes and how I involve/ask my students things which I never would have before. Although I would love to say it’s all because I practice inclusive teaching, really I’ve noticed how difficult it is for me to make decisions in later years. Has that rubbed off on my teaching because:

a)     I’m unsure of what I should be teaching?
b)     to keep the pupils happy (in order to have no complaints)?
c)     because I want to be seen as a kind, generous teacher and therefore keep up the numbers in my classes?

I don’t know and I’m sorry if this is a ramble. I just felt like sharing it with you all and wonder if anybody has any thoughts?


Sam

2 comments:

  1. Teaching in today's climate is a challenge. Always feeling as if I look over my shoulder waiting for someone to accuse me of inappropriately interacting with students has become the norm for most teachers. Being openly gay in a conservative country, this has been the norm for me for decades. Some topics are not appropriate to be discussed in public or class no matter the situation. This is my personal ethical belief. I experienced a sticky situation in class yesterday where I apologized prior to giving a verbal example of what not to look like and how not to pose or gesture. One of six adult female students was a bit taken aback until she realized where I was going with my example of edescription of my expectations of how ladies should be represented with confidence, power, respect, and honored not as symbols of inferiority or in a sexual context. I now allow parents to remain in the room while teaching ballet to younger children as long as they do not interrupt the class because I no longer wish to work without being able to physically put hands on bodies to manipulate corrections of alignment. I am only able to do this because the space is so large the parents can be seated at the far end of the room and still be made aware of when I need to give examples or manipulate bodies. Does this take up additional time? Yes. Is it bothersome? Yes. However, I no longer wish to be afraid while teaching in class. Perhaps being male working primarily with females influences my decisions. But then again, I have been writing about how culture, politics, religion, gender, nationality, ethnic origins, nationality, and many other things in today's society influence our individual perspective and perception of ourselves and others.

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  2. I've thought about the professionalism aspect this year too. I've somewhat settled on professionalism as being human, but reserved with boundaries--so my students know I have cats (because I often use pets as imagery, "think of a cat sleeping in the sun and relax" or whatever), or I might share a story from my time in school, but they don't know much else about my life, and I want it that way. I try to treat them as an odd combination of professional acquaintance and child, so it's all surface details but mostly dance-related ones.

    Ken brings up an important point with touch too. I definitely use touch less than I used to and only when I feel it's really necessary. The younger the child, the more necessary, but it decreases the older they get.

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