Reflection, what a tool!

Sitting down at my desk, trying to begin writing my Critical Inquiry, I wondered if what I was experiencing was writer’s block. I just couldn’t get started, and I had no idea why. I have had plenty of time to work on Module Three (I deferred a term,) but I feel so anxious. Seven essays written, you would think I was getting the hang of it by now wouldn’t you? I’ve done my research on writing at this level, I’m getting the hang of writing academic papers in relation to citations and writing literature lists etc, but I couldn’t get started for the life of me.

So, what did I do? Reflect of course! I don’t think I’m completely alone when I say that learning about writing academic papers has been a challenge, but I realised that it goes deeper than that. Once again, it goes way back to my student days. With little emphasis on academic qualifications at the school I attended, in my head I have divided the two. I chose to be a dancer and I couldn’t be intelligent at the same time. I can remember when I went to university for the first time in 2005 and stated to the lecturer that “I was just a dancer”, like that was an excuse for me being there. It also is an insult to all dancers, teachers, choreographers placing everybody in the same box as me.

I have had the perception for years, that anyone working for a masters degree is super clever. Again, I needed to resort to reflection for that to come to the surface. Goodness, the power of reflection!

Now, I’ve started writing but the insecurities are still there. Is it good enough? Am I doing what the module handbook states? The questions never end, but I’m now determined that I’m going to enjoy this process.

Good luck to everyone who is busy writing!

Sam

What was my aim?

The past week I met an ex-pupil, overjoyed to see her, we exchanged hugs and started a conversation. It’s over 12 years since I taught her, but the conversation flowed, and it was like we were back in the past. She started talking about her dance classes with me and finished the conversation with “I only danced for fun, but you knew that!”. Well, actually no I didn’t. I started thinking about (or over-analysing!) her words. Why did she presume I knew that? I couldn’t help but think have I approached students differently. I began wondering what have I aimed for in my teaching? I’ve never thought about that before. Is it to educate dance students to be professional dancers/teachers/choreographers or is it to provide them with a positive experience of dance and ensure the next generation of dance-lovers? I’m sure that when starting my career, I taught them thinking that they were all going to be professionals, silly really when I was teaching at a recreational school in the Artic Circle! The past years where I no longer enter pupils for exams seemed to change my attitude, allowing me to relax and give me more say in my teaching. It appears the shift took place here. I think I was probably being more realistic of how many pupils took dance classes for fun. Still, some pupils have continued into the profession. I hope that my pupils haven’t felt discrimination based on their reasons for dancing. I’ve always strived to be fair in my classes as the outcomes if not can be damaging. I do hope I’ve managed that.

Sam

More discovery!

Hi, it was very nice to talk and “meet” some of you today. For all who are joining tomorrow’s Skype, I’m Sam(antha) and I’m in Module Three. I deferred in January, so I have already done some work for this Module.

I would like to write about the monthly Skypes we engage in. I did write about this topic in September, but I feel that I have a different view about them today and have discovered another aspect of myself.

The Skypes have been until now, something I have not looked forward to each month. I could never really pinpoint why though. I’ve never been one to stand up and talk in front of people, I have never been one to express my views to people that I don’t know, and I have shied away from confrontation in my everyday life. These factors were my starting points for the Skypes, not a particularly good and positive attitude!

I have felt uncomfortable and exposed, and the silences that sometimes occur feel awkward. I also had had the view that I wasn’t smart enough, and what have I got to offer of any use to anybody?

Having a little pause from my studies has been helpful. Taking a little step back has provided me with the opportunity to review certain elements of the programme, the Skypes being one of them. I wondered what I was getting out of the Skypes and why I felt panicky and never at ease. The Skypes should help me facilitate my learning not be a hindrance.

What I have discovered about myself through this reflection is that I have problems articulating myself. This is even to the point that I put Norwegian (I live in Norway) words into a conversation without realising it, or I can’t remember the word in English, or that I can’t remember how to pronounce a word. This, was not something I took seriously before but as a presentation is part of Module Three, I need to face this issue. The monthly Skypes surely are a tool that can help me with this? They are a platform for me to express myself and receive feedback in the form of a conversation, what is there to fear? Nothing, they provide information, help, and needed support.

I look forward to the next Skype and putting my words into practice! I hope everybody has a good start.

Sam

Taking the Plunge

I finally am having the courage to try something new, something that I never a year ago would have had the guts to try. I am altering the course I teach for student teachers. Reflection is a powerful tool and through my reflection in the two previous modules, I have come to realise elements of my practice need to be changed. Taking the plunge though is easier said than done, and I have been at a crossroads to how and what I should alter. More importantly though is the question “why?”. Surely what I teach the students is appropriate for what they need to start their careers, the answer to that is simply no! How to go about it is indeed a task. Where should I start? Listening to the students is where I began. A newish concept for me. I have in the past obviously listened to their ideas and comments, but I have to admit shamefully that I sort of brushed them aside. This term I did not. Shapiro (2008, p.160), states that “the content of education (…) should be based on the things about which the students want to know “. I listened and digested what they said and started making a new plan of my eight lessons. It is a challenge not to engage in my normal teaching style and revert to my old plan and ways, but these are young professionals who already have some experience of teaching themselves. I have on several occasions wanted to jump in and “assist”, yet I see they are contented, engaged in the task and are happily swapping previous experiences.

I do not know at this time what the outcome will be for me personally or for the student teachers, but that is the experience of this journey isn’t it? I feel quite naughty trying something new, and not at all guilty which I thought I may feel (a betrayal to my teachers and education). Instead, I have a feeling of excitiment and I feel liberated to some extent!

“If we teach today’s students as we taught yesterday’s, we rob them of tomorrow.” 
John Dewey

Shapiro. B (2008), Dance in a World of Change. Human Kinetics Publishers

This summer, after receiving feedback from Module 2, has been quite an eventful one for me. A change in my work situation has given me that little extra “push” to reflect on my holistic practice to date, instead of reflecting on it from module to module.

When I was writing my AOL essays in Module One, I remember feeling quite pleased with myself at the teacher I had become. Yes, there were elements of my early practice that made me squirm with embarrassment, and I did worry how many children I had emotionally hurt, confused (why was I nicer out of class than in?), or had turned away from dance because of their experience with me? Writing those essays though gave me an overall sense of achievement. I wonder where I was mentally though when I was writing them? I now look back and see that I was writing them with the identity that I feel I have today, a ballet teacher. Even though I began my teaching practice like many of us do, teaching different genres, I wrote those essays as a ballet teacher. I reflected mainly on my practice in one genre, even though I taught four.

Module Two commenced and for the first time, I came across the theory of Dualism and Embodiment. Oh dear, now I’m lost! I have over the years heard about embodiment, but that doesn’t belong in classical ballet does it, … or does it? I never learnt about them in my education so maybe they are something that I don’t need to know? How naive and narrow-minded I’ve been.

For someone who has been trying not to be a reflection of her own education and gain more knowledge throughout my career, why has the understanding of Dualism and embodiment scared me?

My conclusion after some time debating is that I didn’t think they were relevant to my practice. When I think about the endless courses I have participated in, the majority have been to either teach or improve technical skills. How to teach technique has been the focus. Quite simply, I still have a similar outlook to my teachers from the 80’s.

Teaching a class last term with my university students, I remember thinking how “dreary” they were. They gave me nothing, and so I asked them to forget their technique for a particular exercise and just “let go”. The transformation was astounding, I really “felt” their movements, I almost wanted to get up and dance with them! When talking to them afterwards, they stated that the technique inhibited them. I could relate to that from a teacher perspective. Teaching jazz (which I did up to a year ago), made me feel “alive”. I thought it was because it gave me a workout, the group were adults and fun to teach, and I didn’t have to worry so much about my technique as I did when teaching ballet.

Watching a guest teacher and my university students in a contemporary class at the end of the last term, has me contemplating what do I need to do to embrace embodiment in my practice? I would love all my pupils in the future to experience this and to feel “whole". Is it possible for me to change my practice and more importantly engage in embodiment? Maybe I do already but yet have to recognise it.

This is one of my personal goals moving forward and a challenging one.

Feedback and Proceeding Forward

Hi, I hope everybody is well and has had a good summer.

I would like to share my feedback and thoughts after completing Module Two last term. Firstly, my inquiry is based on my teaching of student teachers participating on a 1-year pedagogy course here in Norway.

My feedback was extremely helpful and has led me to reflect further. I seem to forget at times that this course is about my practice and I need to keep that in the forefront continuing into Module Three. I have experienced that I get involved in the “academics” of the course (e.g. composing a literature list, how to write a proposal plan), that I forget the whole reason why I am enrolled on the course! I am still a bit reluctant to discover why I have the perspectives I have, but I know that to proceed, I need to question myself. I have never previously reflected on why I have the views I do. Are they really my views or was a seed planted and I’ve never had the need to think about them or reconsider them?

Receiving feedback about my literature review had me contemplating about what have I learnt in the past 30 something years I’ve been teaching.  Without a doubt, my practice has been traditional (in relationship to the culture I live and work in), and I have been, to a certain degree blind to developments within the dance world. I have been recommended to extend my reading as I tend to separate body and mind in learning. The theory of Dualism was something new to me and I have been advised to look into literature (i.e. Dewey) that bridges the dualist tradition. I too, need to expand my knowledge about teaching and learning that are not so obvious to me. Claxton and Atkinsons’ book The Intuitive Practitioner: On the Value of Not Always Knowing What One Is Doing has been recommended.

It was pointed out that I need to employ in a stronger engagement with the Skype discussions and blogs and this is a valid point. I find these modes of learning quite challenging. I do understand the value of these learning methods, and I am determined to be an active participant in the coming months. Overcoming certain obstacles in the Skype talks, (that may give the impression I am more of a listener than a contributor), is an element that I wish to improve.

Samantha

HI, I would like to talk about the use of music in ballet classes, continuing where we left off from last Sunday´s morning talk. I find this topic very interesting as I see how different types of music influences the class atmosphere and motivation. I like to change the class music from the ”traditional” type of music for ballet classes to pop, jazz or whatever the pupils ask for. I was wondering when we were discussing this though, what are our experiences are with either a pianist or a playlist? I have used both  and I feel the difference is significant. With a pianist, it is almost like the pupils ”remember” that they are in a ballet class, maybe because they associate her with playing for them? They seem to maintain the classical style. With a playlist, the class is very different as it almost becomes a jazz class! Could this be because their association with a playlist is influenced by their free time, interest in music or being a teenager/young adult? Their movements become freer and the quality changes. They is no doubt that the contrast in the music has an effect. I am aware when making a class to pop music that I need to try and find music that will bring out the same aesthetics as the movements/exercises they are used to, I´m not always successful in that! Could that contribute to their change in style or difference in their musical quality?

As a result of this conversation, the past week I´ve been asking my pupils how often they would like to have non-classical music for their classes. I was really surprised as the majority said they enjoyed having it as a ”special treat” but would not want it frequently. A couple even commented that it was also the classical music that motivated them to do ballet!

Does anybody have any thoughts on this topic, would love to hear them!